palmistry

 Strange things can happen to a bloke in my profession. I have learnt over the years not to mention that I’m a Medium, especially when I’m out in the local pub. This can lead to a few problems....I either get someone wanting to speak to dearly departed Auntie Doris, and are then rather upset when I explain that maybe a crowded pub is not quite the place, and after all I'm not at work anyway, or people around me quickly disappear leaving me wondering whether I have B.O. or not.

Perhaps they imagine that I'm going to conjure up evil happenings or have a quick transfiguration into Atilla the Hun! Whatever the reason I try and keep my profession to myself, which in turn keeps me socially acceptable and ensures a good night out.

However this urge to flee from me does not occur when on the rare occasion folk find out that I am also a Palmist. Oh No! Quite the opposite occurs....all of a sudden I find a few dozen hands ranging from the delicate to the downright mucky stuck up my nose, all demanding to know how long they're going to live, how many children they've got or going to have, and what their love life is going to be like. Again I have to explain that I'm not at work and after all I'm not going to ask someone present who may be a cobbler, to repair my shoes there and then.

Mind you I have been tempted, when confronted with the hand of a pretty nymphomaniac, to tell them that they’re going to fall head over in heels in love with a balding, bearded middle aged man, about 5’6”,wears spectacles and maybe standing not very far away from them ! Being truly professional though, I always  manage to overcome the  temptation( sometimes being a goody two shoes like me has it's downside ).

Anyway all I'm trying to say is that of all the methods of divination there are, for some reason Palmistry is very well received in all walks of life. Maybe it's because we all have a hand and therefore find nothing scary about it, I don't know, but whatever the reason is, Palmistry can be a wonderful tool to win friends and influence people !

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